Hijacked by Fear

Fear is the Osama bin Laden of your destiny. It attempts to hijack your life. Like bin Laden, fear has multiple allies with various aliases:

Procrastination
Anxiety
Panic
Avoidance of conflict
Shyness
Excuses
Under-performing

If you don’t resist, fear will send one of these or many other junior terrorists to hi-jack your life and to take somewhere other than to your destiny.

Fear Aggravates Stress

Fear Aggravates Stress

The Complete Stress Management Workbook states that there are 3 stress aggravators:

1. Compounded fears – making mountains out of molehills
2. Busy lives that are spinning out of control
3. Unhealthy reactions to our stress that merely intensify our
stress (overeating might be an example)

“We can be routed by minor stresses when we imagine them to be major ones.” Fears are stressful.

Overcoming fear is necessary to achieve your destiny and to enjoy life more. If you have overcome a fear in your life, why not leave a comment below (comments can be anonymous, if you want) and describe how you did it?

I Have Words With an Atheist

The following conversation is constructed from actual text of comments that my friend WORDS and I have shared in this blog. I just posted it here because I think it's interesting... you know, deserves front page attention!

In case it is not obvious, the title isn't intended to convey any animosity... just playing with WORDS. Ok, enough of my incredibly clever word plays... I apologize, that just slipped out. Here is the conversation in which I am arguing that faith in God is reasonable and WORDS disagrees:

Bud: I'm a little disappointed. I think you glossed over my arguments in your last post.

Words: Which ones? I’d be happy to take the time to address them fully.

Bud: Well, pretty much all of them. But look, your a priori assumption is that the existance of God is absurd; hence, we have no common ground as I state that the existance of God is at least a reasonable possibility.

Words: The only assumption here, is that you assume I’m assuming. I claim it has no
evidence and is rife with contradictions and "wives tales" if you will that hold no water. Do you eat ham, bacon, pork chops or ribs?

Bud: Yep, I pretty much eat all of them. Dr. Atkins, you know.

Words: Ya know you could REALLY envoke the anger of God for that one (according to
your good book that is):

Bud: For being on the Atkins diet?

Words (ignoring Bud's remark and continuing with the argument):
Lev 11:7 - 8 And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he [is] unclean to you. Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcass shall ye not touch; they [are] unclean to you.

Sure, some primative man saw that pigs wallow around in their own "filth" so to him, with his limited DATA assumed that such creatures must be bad to eat- Did you know that elephants "bathe" in their own feces? In fact they stick their trunks into it so deeply, that it plugs their nostrils up- then they forcefully SPRAY the feces onto their young and their FRIENDS- why? Well, the average uneducated quick to form a solution person, might assume that its cause they are DUMB animals....but in reality- SCIENCE shows us that they are forming immunities within their "family" of elephants from various illnesses by exposing one another to such treatment. Not bad for dumb animals huh? And they didnt require some book to tell them it was good for them.

Bud: Ok, before we get too many animals for me to keep track of, let me comment. First… you really have a thing for elephants, don’t you? I mean, last week you were talking about pink elephants on flying carpets. And no, I didn’t know about the whole bathing in feces thing. Clearly, you know more about elephants than I do. And isn’t it neat how God didn’t need a book to create each species with instincts necessary for survival?

Anyway, back to the pigs and dietary laws. You cite this dietary law as support for your contention that the Bible is "rife with contradictions and wives’ tales." An alternative explanation is that God wanted his people at that particular point in time to enjoy a "no pork" diet for health reasons or other purposes.

But back to my point. It is possible that God exists – I say "possible" in the sense that the existance of God is not empirically verifiable. So, how much faith to place in that possibility is a matter of choice. It is in fact a choice that every human must make… believe or dis-believe.

Words: The difference is- YOU place "faith" into "something". Thats why its NOT called
truth or fact- its called faith and belief. Data isnt gathered logically by one’s beliefs- one has a hypothesis, one investigates the hypothesis - gathering data to support one’s idea--then one eitherconfirms it is true or proves it is not.

Bud: Sounds like the scientific method to me. Perfectly applicable to… well, science. The physical universe. Matters that are empirically verifiable. Not applicable to God because He transcends the material universe. He is not empirically verifiable. Did I say that yet?

You want to confine God to a box no bigger than the physical universe. Sorry your conception is so small!

Words: Using logic and reason we can safely say that the Bible’s "proof" of God is based
on lack of education and experience.

Bud: I said previously that the Bible does not try to prove the existance of God. The Bible assumes the existance of God. The perspective of scripture is that only a foolish person would gaze into the starry night sky and not conclude that a Creator made this world. But go ahead and make your point…

Words: Man once believed that killing women and accusing them of being witches was doing God’s bidding. They would tie heavy stones to them and sink them into ponds and lakes and say that if she was a witch she would float to the top- and if she was innocent then God would take her. So, "damned" either way. And they got their thrill kill.

Bud: Uh… some ancient people were superstitious… and mean… Religion can be
misused. People weighted down with stones don’t float. Ok, I agree with all of
that. But check this out…

If you choose not to believe and turn out to be wrong, you've really missed out on something.

Words: THATS it? Thats all you have to defend your stance? That if you’re wrong "Then you'll be sorry!"?????

Bud: You have a real knack for hearing what you want me to have said rather than what I actually said. I didn’t say, "If God exists, you’ll be sorry." I said, "If God exists, you’ve really missed out." Key word: missed. Synonyms are "neglected" and "lost". As in, had an opportunity but lost it. Could have lived a lifetime in communion with his/her creator but didn’t.

Words: So better stand on the CHANCE of being right? Or rather in your mind- the certainty of being right (despite proof) so MIGHT as well play it safe? Thats it?! Well hell..... why not believe in ALL The religions Dieties, what if "God" is really Brahma or maybe Esaugetuh Emissee ("master of breath") in the Creek native american language. Why not cover your bases and believe in ALL of them. Beingyour philisophy revolves around no proof and only "faith".Why not believe that it was "Gods" PLAN for the doctors to be deficient in their duties if your child dies under their "care". Can you not see your own conflict?

Bud: Just because God can’t be empirically verified does not mean He can’t be known. He is known by revelation. He reveals Himself. He has broken into the physical universe in the person of Christ. He has spoken to us in scripture. So, that is how I know the difference between truth and falsehood in matters of theology.

Hey, it’s late and I’m tired… let’s carry this on at a later date… I'll let you have the last word next time, OK?

(I will have More Words With an Atheist sometime next week.)

Stress and the Superdad

The struggle for "life balance" continues! Click on the title of this entry (Stress and the Superdad) for a Time article on the subject. (OOPS - article is now "premium content" and you have to pay if you want to read more than just the first paragraph. )

Anxieties, Phobias and Fears

According to the website mentalhelp.net:

· Anxiety is the 5th most common complaint to MD’s.
· It is the most common complaint to psychotherapists.
· 7% of the population experience serious anxiety during a
typical month (and the recent terrorism has certainly
increased this by some percentage)
· 30 million new prescriptions for tranquilizers are
prescribed annually in the United States
· Annual tranquilizer consumption in the US measures in the
tons

When an unreasonable fear escalates to the point that it interferes with one’s social or work life, it is called a phobia. Here are some facts about phobias:

· About 13% of the population has a phobia
· There are 3 types of phobias:
- Simple phobias, such as fear of death, cancer, insanity, the
devil, the dark
- Social phobias, such as fear of public speaking,
embarrassment, of meeting people
- Panic disorders, such as unpredictable attacks of terror,
sweating or dizziness

Panic attacks are believed to be physiologically and chemically different from simple fears and phobias. The most typical treatment of fears and anxieties are relaxation techniques and “exposure”, which means confronting and encountering the thing one fears

To some extent, the way to conquer your fear is to face it.

Top 10 Fears

Failure is not the only thing that people fear. A recent on-line publication published a list of the TEN MOST COMMON HUMAN FEARS. The results were compiled from a number of sources. The list was not necessarily scientific, but here it is:

TOP 10 MOST COMMON HUMAN FEARS

10. Elevators

9. Driving

8. Flying

7. Death

6. Deep water

5. Sickness

4. Financial problems

3. Insects

2. Heights

1. And the ever-popular even scarier than death #1 top fear:
public speaking!


Here's a very personal, pertinent, and powerful question. It is a question that some people may have difficulty answering honestly. Privately, you may have difficulty even admitting that there is an answer to this question. The question is simply, "What are you afraid of?"

Have you noticed these "No Fear" t-shirts that seem to be everywhere? I just wonder why the culture we live in has such a need to make that statement. I don't know. I do know that, regardless of our posturing, fear is a fundamental facet of human nature.

Do you remember the Muppets: Miss Piggy, Kermit the Frog? Back in the 1980's, there was a Muppet movie. The opening scene was of the Muppets riding bicycles in a park. One shot showed a muppet riding by, hands in the air, saying, "Look, Ma, no hands!" The next show shows another muppet coasting by on his bike. Only, he is sitting backward on the bike with his hands in the air, not looking where he is going. He says, "Look, Ma, no brains!" There are some things that you will be afraid of if you have any brains!

However, there are fears that can cause a person not to move toward his or her destiny.

So, again, what are you afraid of?

Slow Me Down!

Slow Me Down, Lord

Slow me down, Lord!
Ease the pounding of my heart
By the quieting of my mind.
Steady my harried pace
With a vision of the eternal reach of time…
Help me know
The magical restoring power of sleep.
Teach me the art
Of taking minute vacations, of slowing down to look at a flower;
To chat with and old friend or to make a new one…
Remind me each day
That the race is not always to the swift…
Slow me down, Lord,
And inspire me to send my roots deep
Into the soil of life’s enduring values…

Wilfred A. Peterson

How Would You Answer These Questions?

A service repairman was called to a factory to repair a machine. He listened to the machine and then hit it on the side with a rubber hammer. Immediately, the machine came back on. The consultant handed the owner of the factory a bill that said, “machine repair -- $100.00”. The owner replied, “Hey, isn’t $100 a bit steep for just hitting the machine with a rubber hammer?” The repairman said, “I see your point.” So he tore up the old bill and wrote a new one. The new bill said, “hitting machine with rubber hammer: $1.00; knowing where to hit the machine with rubber hammer: $99.00; total: $100.00.”

Often, in my work as a life coach, the value I provide to my clients can be compared to the service repairman's response: it is in knowing which questions to ask and which subjects to ask about.

Remember that we said your true destiny is to accomplish in every detail the master plan for your life, using each gift and resource at your command for maximum positive impact on the world around you. There are 7 "mega-questions" that in large part determine the degree to which you achieve your destiny.

The 7 key questions:
1. What do you fear?
2. Where are you stuck?
3. How do you defeat yourself?
4. What are you trying to accomplish?
5. What do you do really well?
6. With whom are you connected?
7. What are you willing to do right now?

7 Passion Killers

Pastor Mike Chapman of City Church in Chattanooga preaches a sermon entitled, “Making a Difference with Your Life Will Take Passion”. He identifies 7 passion killers:

1. An unclear purpose: life seems futile without a purpose –
why get out of bed?
2. An unemployed talent: God has given you gifts and talents
and if they are not being utilized, your passion quotient
will go down.
3. An unbalanced schedule: overwork or underwork will cause a
decline in passion.
4. An unconfessed sin: you can’t have enthusiasm and guilt at
the same time.
5. An unresolved conflict: resentment, jealousy and prolonged
anger are passion-killing emotions.
6. An unsupported lifestyle: loneliness kills passion.
7. An undernourished spirit: at it’s root, passion is a
spiritual issue and if our spirit is ignored, our heart will
shrink and grow cold.

Passion drives your quest for destiny. Passion is the fuel of your life. Passion can be diluted or even completely drained from your life and if that happens, you will never discover your destiny! Resolve today to remove the barriers and pursue your passion.

Are You Passionate?

Psychologists and psychiatrists and theologians have devised many theories of human motivation. Two of the most powerful sources of human motivation -- some would say the roots of all motivation -- are pain and pleasure.

We try to avoid all types of pain and discomfort: physical pain, emotional pain (such as loneliness), mental pain (such as sensory deprivation), and social pain or discomfort (such as rejection). The behavioral mode of persons motivated by fear of pain is avoidance. Naturally, we need to avoid obvious and unnecessary pain.

Conversely, humans seek out pleasure. The word "pleasure" sometimes has a negative connotation to Christian people. However, one of the oldest statements of Christian faith is the Westminster Catechism which states, “The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever…” Enjoy! That would be a synonym for “take pleasure in”. The chief end of man is to glorify God and to take pleasure in Him forever! Passion for God, according to the Westminster Catechism, is the chief purpose of humankind. So, when I speak of "passion" and "pleasure", I am not referring to sensuality. Passion is the pleasure you feel about the good things in life up to and including loving God.

All of the above says this: fear of pain motivates avoidance behaviors; passion motivates seeking behaviors. Diagnose yourself: are you primarily an "avoider" or a "seeker"?

Consider the famous teaching called the “Sermon on the Mount” by Jesus. I won't include it all here because of space considerations, but in Matthew 6:25, Jesus says, “Do not worry”.

He then lists three specific things not to worry about: food, drink, clothing. These three are fundamental survival concerns of all humans. (When Jesus speaks of worry about clothing, he isn't thinking in terms of getting a new dress for Easter. He is talking about the function that clothing serves in providing basic protection from nakedness and the elements.) Discomfort, pain and death are the consequences of not having food, drink and clothing!

I see in Jesus' statement not to worry about these fundamental needs the idea that we must not allow our thoughts to be dominated by "pain-avoidance"! In verse 32, he says even more graphically, “Don’t run after these things”. In other words, don’t direct your actions into avoiding pain. What should we do then? Verse 33: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness…” Jesus clearly exhorts his listeners to be Seekers, not Avoiders!

If you take time to read Matthew 6: 25 -34 at some point, you will notice these additional points about passion seeking from the Sermon on the Mount:

· Verse 25: Passion Seekers conquer fears and anxieties
· Verse 25: Passion Seekers have a deep sense of priorities
· Verse 33: Passion Seekers identify and pursue their passion
· Verse 33: Passion Seekers tend to achieve both their passion and temporal rewards
· Verse 34: Passion Seekers are able to focus on the moment.

Are you seeking your destiny? Prepare to confront and conquer your inner anxieties. Determine and focus on your priorities. Identify and go after your passions.

The rewards: you will be a person focused on maximizing every moment... and you will succeed spiritually, materially and every other way.

Passion Seekers: discover your destiny!

The Importance of Potential

Your potential is the dream that God has put in your heart, which will be reached by fully utilizing the talents and resources he has blessed you with! Potential is to develop every gift and resource for its maximum positive benefit. Your potential is you destiny. That is why Joyce Meyer, the Christian author and teacher says (in How to Succeed at Being Yourself, p 78 – 79), “As Christians, our #1 job is the development of personal potential.”

To learn more about developing your potential as a leader:

www.coachingforleadership.com

Maximum Impact

In the minds of many people, "destiny" suggests a mold that life pours you into and that you can't change. In their minds, destiny is a set fate that cannot be altered. In fact, whether you've thought about it consciously or not, for reasons we've already mentioned, you may be feeling that way right now: trapped, tied down, imprisoned and doomed to a life of mediocrity and failure... or, at least, a life of boredom!

There are keys to unlock those prison doors! The place to start is by getting a better definition of "destiny".

One of Webster's definitions of destiny is "divine decree". Some people might think of "divine decree" as predestination. In that line of thought, a divine being controls the path and the outcome of your life and there is nothing you can do about it. There is a much more helpful and practical way to think of destiny. Your true destiny is to accomplish in every detail the master plan for your life, using each gift and resource at your command for maximum positive impact on the world around you.

These words contain 3 key concepts. Because they are so fundamental and essential, we will elaborate on their significance a little more. These are the underlying assumptions, the starting places, the launching pads of all that I will be writing. You can certainly choose to disagree with these assumptions, but they are my assumptions and a priori arguments, the foundations of the whole paradigm.

Firstly, your destiny can only be understood in terms of making maximum positive impact on the world around you. Your destiny is not defined by what you get but by what you give. The nature of your personal "positive impact" will depend on many unique factors: your personality, your talents and interests, your life circumstances, the culture and time at which you live. But all of us, if we reach our true destiny, will leave behind something good.

(Take one "Positive Impact" assessment here: www.bucketbook.com )

What the good thing is that you are destined to leave behind when you depart this earth is the very thing that you need to discover! Legacy and destiny are the same, viewed from different time points. Of course, for the Christian believer, destiny extends ever onward into eternity.

Secondly, every human being has gifts and resources that must be developed and used if they are to fulfill their destiny. By gifts, we refer to inner talents and abilities: your greatest intellectual abilities, physical attributes and personality characteristics. By resources, we refer to the aspects of your external environment over which you have control: the things you own, the money you possess, the artifacts of your life. Everyone has something they can use to make a positive impact on the world around them. However, the crucial point is this: those gifts and resources must be developed and deployed; the mere fact that you have them does not fulfill your destiny. It is using them to their fullest extent for maximum impact that really counts. What are the gifts and resources that you must develop? Again, that is exactly what you are here to discover!

Ultimately, we come to the greatest concept of all: there must be a master plan for your life. No great building was ever built without a blueprint. No great life was ever lived without a master plan. Is it possible to build a fulfilling and successful life without a sense of connection to a master plan?

The prophet Jeremiah in the Bible offered this encouragement for people to seek out for themselves the Master and the master plan for their lives:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Jeremiah 29: 11 -13 NIV

So, according to Jeremiah, there is a Master, there is a master plan, and you can find His plan, but not without some prayers, introspection and effort on your part.

What is the next step for you?