Mini-Seminar: Stress

Why People Love Stress
And
How to Stay That Way as Long as You Live
(Which Probably Won’t be That Long)

Why People Love Stress

Stress, tension, and burnout are common in modern society. I have come to the following conclusion: THEY WANT TO STAY STRESSED! The following provides you with a few reasons why.

STRESS HELPS YOU SEEM IMPORTANT. Anyone as stressed as you must be working very hard and, therefore, is probably doing something very crucial.

IT HELPS YOU TO MAINTAIN PERSONAL DISTANCE AND AVOID INTIMACY. Anyone as busy as you are certainly can't be expected to form emotional attachments to anyone. And let's
face it, you're not much fun to be around anyway.

IT HELPS YOU AVOID RESPONSIBILITIES. Obviously you're too stressed to be given any more work. This gets you off the hook for all the mundane chores; let someone else take care of them.

IT GIVES YOU A CHEMICAL RUSH. Stress might be considered a cheap thrill, and you can give yourself a "hit" anytime you chose. Be careful, you might get addicted to your own adrenaline.

IT HELPS YOU AVOID SUCCESS. Why risk being "successful" when by simply staying stressed you can avoid all of that? Stress can keep your performance level low enough that success won't ever be a threat.

STRESS ALSO LETS YOU KEEP YOUR AUTHORITARIAN MANAGEMENT STYLE. The authoritarian style of "Just do what I say!" is generally permissible under crisis conditions. If you maintain a permanently stressed crisis atmosphere, you can justify an authoritarian style all the time. How to Stay Permanently StressedSold on the value of stress? Are you worried now about how to stay stressed? You'll have no trouble if you practice the following clinically proven methods:

NEVER EXERCISE. Exercise wastes a lot of time that could be spent worrying.

EAT ANYTHING YOU WANT. Hey, if cigarette smoke can't cleanse your system, a balanced
diet isn't likely to, either. So, why bother?

GAIN WEIGHT. Work hard at staying at least 25 pounds over your recommended weight.

TAKE PLENTY OF STIMULANTS. The old standards of caffeine, nicotine, sugar, and cola will
continue to do the job just fine.

GET RID OF YOUR SOCIAL SUPPORT SYSTEM. Let the few friends who are willing to tolerate you know that concern yourself with friendships only if you have time – and you never have time. If a few people persist in trying to be your friend, avoid them.

PERSONALIZE ALL CRITICISM. Anyone who criticizes any aspect of your work, family, dog, house, or car is mounting a personal attack. Don't waste your time listening; instead, be offended, then return the attack! Maintain the cycle as long as possible.

THROW OUT YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR. Staying stressed is no laughing matter, and it shouldn't be treated as one.

MALES AND FEMALES ALIKE - BE MACHO. Never ever ask for help, and if you want it done right, do it yourself!

BECOME A WORKAHOLIC. Put work before everything else, and be sure to take work home evenings and weekends. Keep reminding yourself that vacations are for losers. You can also tell they are losers by how cheerful and stress-free they are.

DISCARD GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS. Schedule in more activities every day than you can possibly get done and then worry about it all whenever you get a chance.

PROCRASTINATE. Putting things off to the last second always produces a marvelous amount of stress.

WORRY ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL. Worry about the stock market, earthquakes, the approaching Ice Age, you know, all the big issues.

BECOME NOT ONLY A PERFECTIONIST BUT ALSO SET IMPOSSIBLY HIGH STANDARDS... feel guilty, depressed, discouraged, and/or inadequate when you don't meet them."

A stress-filled life can be yours today!

God's Will and Destiny

Have you ever prayed to know the will of God?

I know a lot of religious people have prayed that kind of prayer; maybe a lot of not-very-religious people
have done the same, I don't know.

If you have prayed to know the will of God, what actually was the "life domain" in which you wanted to know God’s will?

Probably, it was the arena of a major decision in your life, such as, “God, is it your will for me to change careers?” Or, “God, is it your will for me to do this or that?” Most likely, your prayer was about “do” and not “who”. Right? "God, what should I do?"

What if I said that you don’t have to pray to know will of God? After all, the model prayer – that is, the Lord's Prayer – says, “Thy will be done.” It does not say, “Show me your will.”

Consider this story from the gospels:

While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.” He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” (Matthew 12:46-50 NIV)

Surely, it is not our career choice that makes us Jesus’ brother or sister! It doesn't fit, does it? “Whoever chooses the right career is my brother and sister.”

How about this: “Whoever is my disciple and learns of me is my brother and sister.” Does that not sound much more likely?

What if I said that I can tell God’s will for your life right now? Here are some direct quotes from the Bible:

Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Do not get drunk… instead, be filled with the Spirit!

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality…

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Submit yourself… to every authority instituted among men… for it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men .

So the will of God is much more about “who” than “do”. Who are you to be? You are to be sober, spiritual, self-controlled especially in the realm of your sexuality, joyful, prayerful, thankful, and a law-abiding citizen. That is the will of God for your life.

So then, what about career decisions? How do we pray about those? Those decisions are a matter of wisom. And if anyone lack wisdom, let him ask of God who, according to one verse, "doesn't mind if you ask". The interesting thing about wisdom is that it implies that we ultimately must participate in the decision and make the decision. It is really easy for God to move us into the right career and the right geographical location if we are genuinely committed to becoming His kind of person.

The “do” flows from the “who”.

Focus on become the kind of person you were designed to be; career and financial prosperity will flow out of a series of events in your life which will in the end prove to have been providential.

Behind, Ahead, Within

What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Holmes seems to suggest that inner strength can easily overcome the conditioning of our past and the obstacles in our future.

It is character that counts.

Your search for your destiny may focus on the activities and major decisions of your life: what should I do? who should I marry? what are the correct career decisions? and so on.

Such is no sufficient way to pursure your destiny.

Your true destiny will be revealed and achieved only if you pursue the answer to this question: what kind of person did God create me to be?

One beauty of the Christian faith: that Christ is in us and that is our "hope of glory".

We are to be like Him. That is our destiny.

In the Beginning, Reprise

In the beginning, God intended for you to pursue passionately His divinely ordained purpose for your existance. He designed that purpose for you and you for that purpose.

Your talents and fundamental characteristics, when fully developed and applied correctly, are the perfect tools for your specific assignment. You experience a richness and fulness of life that cannot be improved on when you are pursuing this destiny, regardless of obstacles, pain or opposition.

People find themselves attracted to you because you radiate peace and contentment. You have meaningful relationships that are deep and strong. You accept the failings of others because you are happy with yourself, including your own weaknesses and shortcomings. You have been forgiven, you embrace your own forgiveness, and you forgive others.

In the beginning, God created you for a fulfilling destiny. Are you moving toward it?

Mindframes

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Self-awareness is one aspect of discovering your destiny but there are others. Peruse the blog for more perspectives. Thanks for stopping in for a read!

How Did You Overcome Your Greatest Fear?

Personally, sky-diving helped me confront a fear of heights. In fact, I believe it liberated me in many ways, even though I still do not relish standing on top of a building.

I believe there are at least 7 keys to reaching your God-given destiny. The first is to overcome your fears.

What is the biggest fear you have overcome? How did you do it?

I am interested, so if you like, use the comment link below and tell your story.

Discover Your True Calling

Po Bronson is the author of The New York Times Bestseller "What Should I Do with My Life?" -- a book that chronicles inspirational true stories of people who have found the most meaningful answers to that great question. He is the author of two other books and has written articles for The New York Times Magazine and The Wall Street Journal.

Check out a CNN article on his book here or by clicking on the title of this post.

Dream the Impossible Dream

Deep inside, most people know they were created for more than the mundane, monotonous, "everydayness" of life. We long to be heroic, exceptional, and fulfilled, but instead we find ourselves frustrated and far from reaching our potential. We fear that our dreams and God's will are at odds and that God's will might make us unhappy or be unattainable.

But our personal dreams are often dreams that God has given us to pursue. In Discover Your Destiny, Bill and Kathy Peel look at the hopes and desires that shape our lives, giving readers the inspiration and courage to make those dreams come true. By evaluating our dreams in the light of Scripture, we can discern if a dream is part of God's will and our destiny.

To purchase the book, click on the title of this post, Dream the Impossible Dream.

How Thoughts Become Destiny

"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." - Frank Outlaw

From the Beginning

I started off with the intention of talking to Christian believers about achieving a truly meaningful and fulfilling life.

After my first post, things took a different direction. My friend WORDS who comments regularly has challenged me to convert to atheism. (If you go to the first post on this blog and down to the comments, you can read the whole exchange.)

In WORDS' last comment, the implication was made that anyone who believes in God is, well, schizophrenic. Here's my reply in the form of a quote from an on-line article.

Let me begin with five traditional arguments for the existence of God. It may seem an unlikely starting point for this topic, but I think you'll see as time goes on that these arguments keep coming up. I'm not going to comment right away on whether these arguments are valid or not, but I will state them because throughout astrophysical literature these arguments are often referred to:

The cosmological argument: the effect of the universe's existence must have a suitable cause.
The teleological argument: the design of the universe implies a purpose or direction behind it.
The rational argument: the operation of the universe, according to order and natural law, implies a mind behind it.
The ontological argument: man's ideas of God (his God-consciousness) implies a God who imprinted such a consciousness.
The moral argument: man's built-in sense of right and wrong can be accounted for only by an innate awareness of a code of law--an awareness implanted by a higher being.

The author of this quote:

Dr. "Fritz" Schaefer is the Graham Perdue Professor of Chemistry and the director of the Center for Computational Quantum Chemistry at the University of Georgia. He has been nominated for the Nobel Prize and was recently cited as the third most quoted chemist in the world. "The significance and joy in my science comes in the occasional moments of discovering something new and saying to myself, `So that's how God did it!' My goal is to understand a little corner of God's plan." -U.S. News & World Report, Dec. 23, 1991

You can read his entire article here: http://www.leaderu.com/real/ri9404/bigbang.html
or simply by clicking on the title of this post, "From the Beginning".

In the second part of the same lecture given by Dr. Schaefer, you can read this:

We shall begin with the philosophical aspects of A Brief History of Time, which really explains why it has sold so many copies. Stephen Hawking has stated, "It is difficult to discuss the beginning of the universe without mentioning the concept of God. My work on the origin of the universe is on the borderline between science and religion, but I try to stay on the scientific side of the border. It is quite possible that God acts in ways that cannot be described by scientific laws, but in that case, one would just have to go by personal belief."

When asked whether he believed that science and Christianity were competing world views, Hawking replied, "...then Newton would not have discovered the law of gravity." He knew that Newton had strong religious convictions.

So, three prominent scientists find faith in God to be a reasonable proposition. Even Einstein (although grudgingly and not admitting a personal God) eventually admitted the possibility of diety.)

You may not believe in God. I can't prove that God exists. Faith in God, however, is reasonable and that is the conclusion of people a lot smarter than I am. Or are Schafer, Hawking, Sir Isaac Newton, and Albert Einstein all schizophrenic?

Fear Not, Fret Not, Faint Not

Previous posts describe the problem of fear and various ways it affects us. The Bible offers solutions to "the fear problem". Read a great article on the subject by clicking on the title of this post, "Fear Not, Fret Not, Faint Not".

Mental Effects of Fear

Fear is a physical reaction. In the face of physical danger, physical fear is not only natural, but desireable; it energizes our bodies to respond. That's ok, until the point of panic. However, fear is not only physical. It is also mental, cognitive and perceptual. Fear is in our minds. Blindfold me, take me unknowing to the top of the Empire State Building. Move me to the very edge and let me stand there. I'll be fine... until you remove my blindfold!

At that moment, my eyes will send a signal to my brain. My brain will send an e-mail through my central nervous system instantly informing my entire body that I am in danger. Let's not say what happens next! Just know that it involves a trip to the dry cleaners!!

Your brain tells your body when to be afraid. Thoughts trigger fears. At least part of the deliverance from a fear-based life is to change your thinking.

This is one aspect of the Biblical command that believers experience a renewing of their minds. Otherwise, fear will dominate your life and you will not find your destiny.